Royal Rubbers

My beefycakes and I have decided to wait a few months to try for another baby. No big deal, but the question of protection comes into play. Obviously an IUD is out of the question because if I'm going to have something implanted in my lady parts, it's going to stay around for a while. Birth control pills are also out because I have a hard time remembering to brush my teeth. So, the idea of taking a little pill at the same time everyday without fail is just setting myself up for an accident. Abstinence would be a perfect choice except my studmuffin would start eyeing the leg of the couch (if you know what I mean...). Plus, I'm pretty sure the abstinence approach is why the phenomenal show '16 and Prgnant' came to be. So, we are left to resort to rubbers. But not just any rubbers will do. No big horses for us. Oh no. The only acceptable choice for our 'no glove, no love' rule are these puppies:


 

Those would be the official condoms of the upcoming royal wedding.  Have no fear, they come in a variety of sizes to fit every king and prince.  And their slogan: "Like a royal wedding, interaction with a loved one is an unforgettable occasion".  HA!  Apparently the creators of these little crown jewels didn't ask me.  Ugh, I kid. I kid.  Or do I???